whew

well, i have had alot happening recently. and after today's sermon, i have somethings to talk about. but not tonite. i kinda tired and i want to be coherent. talk later

Can't be bad, so make busy

A couple weeks or so ago, I think in Sundayschool we determined that if the devil cannot make you bad, he will just make you busy, to prevent you from doing good. Boy is that the truth. Last March, I applied for a sales position at work, and was passed up for it. They claimed it was an acidental post, but some things happened (not me doing anything) that made/ make me suspiscious. Anyways, a new and better one came open a few weeks ago, I went out for this one, pretty much knowing I wouldn't get it, and I didn't. But, a new one came open. Although nothing was set in stone, the impression was given to me that I would most likely get the position of the guy who got the trainee spot. So I went for it. Now the posting just closed, and I haven't interviewed yet, but I already know the other guy who went for it. He has seniority over me. But his position will come open, which is ok except......
I work in the warehouse, VERY, VERY hard. During the summer, it is not unusual to work 6 days to get the job done. This makes me extremely tired, and not able to see my family much, which drags me down. The position I am currently going for is a Mon-Fri job, like what I am supposed to be year round, and I would still be working alot of hours. Yes, I am sure I might still have to work a 6th day now and then, or I could, however, sinc that job would require some driving, and some time of literally just standing around waiting for work, I may be on clock 12+ hours a day, but only physically working 8 or so. So I won't be as tired. And this position would allow for Dawn, and possibly me to spend more time with Carly.
The position of the guy also going for it is a weekend position, what I went for back in March. it is Fri-Mon. Same work load pretty much, but i can get my 40 or so in four days, and when the economy picks back up, I have the OPTION to work a fith, and even sixth day. This position will also allow me to spend more time with my family...........
Now my dilema: I really doubt I can handle another summer in the warehouse. Yes we FINALLYgot rid of the jerk-off, but most likely we will replace with someone similar. I miss my family, and when I am home, I am too exhausted to do anything. (picture this: take 2 twelve pack, one each hand and lift them above your head about 150+ times. The pick up 8 2-liters and do the same 100+ times that will give you an idea of what I do). Since I want more time at home, or at least Dawn too, which she wants too. This is not really possible in the warehouse, plus since I want a career there, and there really are not any advancement opportunities in the warehouse, sales is the only way. Now back to the problem. I still could get the curent position, unlikely, but very possible. But if I don't, im either stuck in the warehouse missing valuable time with my family, or I am working weekends, most likely missing church (almost a guarantee). Either way not completely happy. Yeah I will definately be happier in sales, and defiantley pretty miserable another summer in the warehouse, but I want church too. I could go to a Wed nite thing, if they continue it.
I have no real time to find another job/ career. And with the economy, it is going to be almost impossible to find someone hiring that will pay enough to make ends meet, even with Dawn still working like she does. She brings alot in, not financially per-say, but without her income, we would fail in the off season, literally fail. I make really good money, espscially with all my OT in summer, so finding one that pays comprable to me now is even harder. Yes I said earlier we need help, and we do, Im not asking but will accept, thats again not this blog.
What I need right now is suggestions or solutions. Ive been praying, but no answer yet. So, do you have a job opening or know of one? I can get you a resume. What should I do? God is important to me, but so is my family. Dawn and Carly would be coming to church, just not me, if things go the way I am afraid. What should I do? Please help me.

Funny time

i have a few jokes and stuff. hopefully all will like.

1.A Mormon bishop, a Mormon stake president, and a average joe are all friends and are out fishing on the lake. After about two hours they run out of sandwhiches in the cooler. "Hey I'm hungry" the bishop says. "I'm going back to the car's cooler to get more sandwhiches. So he stands up and walks across the water to get more sandwiches, and returns the same way about 10 minutes later.
About 30 minutes later the stake president realizes they are out of drinks, "Hey, I'm thirsty, I'm going to get more sodas for us." So he too stands up and walks across the lake to their car and returns about 10 minutes later.
Seeing this their friend thinks "Hey they just walked across water, and Mormons can't be any different than me. I should be able to do it" So he says he is going to go get more chips. he stands up and steps out of the boat, and immediately sinks to the bottom.
The bishop turns to the stake president and says," You think we should have told him where the rocks were?"

2.A Catholic priest, Methodist minister, and a Babtist pastor are all sitting around chatting. The collection plates come up, and how they divide up the money.
"Well we go outside and draw a 10 foot wide circle. Next we throw all the money up in the air and whatever lands inside is ours, and outside is God's" the Methodist says.
"Not bad," the Babtist says, "but we use a five foot circle. Whatever lands inside is ours, and outside is God's."
The Catholic then says to them," Interesting, but you both have it wrong. You don't really need a circle. Just throw it up in the air like you normally do. But with us, its what ever God wants he is going to keep, the rest is ours."

3.This guy loves to play golf. In all his spare time, thats all he does after spending time with his family. He is also a Mormon, and very active in his chruch. Well one day he recieves a call to become bishop in his ward. He accepts the calling. With his new calling comes great responsibility, so much he ends up not playing golf for almost two months, and he starts to go kind of nuts, he is in withdrawl.
So he sits down one night and writes down his weekly schedule, every minute of everyday. he discovers a thirty minute window in the week that he could go and play a few holes. Unfortuantely it is on Sunday morning before all his meetings start. Being a strict Mormon, he knows he is not supposed to go play golf on sundays. But he rationalizes that he has been good all his life, and he is doing the Lord's work afterall. Surely God will grant him this one little thing.
So the following Sunday he heads out to the course to play a few links.
His guardian angel his just chilling up in heaven, it is Sunday afterall, what can really happen? He looks down and freaks out. So the angel runs to the head guardian angel and tells him whats going on. "I'll handle it," the head says.
So the man is about to tee off on the hardest hole on the entire course. Whack! He hits the ball, and what do you know? A hole in one!
His guardian angel runs up to his boss," You said you were going to take care of it!"
"I did. Now who's he going to tell that to?"

3. A priest and a nun are on the golf course. He's playing, shes his caddy. He is on the green, an easy putt in. No way he can miss. "Dammit! I missed!"
"Don't cuss father. God will stirke you with lightening" the nun says.
" I am a man of God, I slipped. It will be okay"
Next hole, on the green again. In fact its an easier putt this time. There is literally no way to miss this shot. "Dammit! I missed again!"
"Thats two slips! I tell you, you will get struck with lightening"
"I doubt it. I have been saved. I do the lord's work. I live a chaste life. He doesn't do that thing anyways"
"Ok, but I've warned you twice"
Next hole, again there is absolutely no way he can miss. The absolutely worst golfer could make this putt, blinded, one hand tied behind his back, and a rabid dog gnawing on his leg.
"DAMMIT!!!! I missed again!!!"
ZOLT! Lightening strikes the nun.
About three seconds later a loud thunderous voice says, "Dammit I missed"

please share

this isnt really a blog, and i have a funny one coming, just too tired right now. please share my blogs. i think the only one reading is my wife, so if you know someone who might like me, let them know about me. my wife has a few followers from church, and i would like people to read me too, so pass me on please!

What do you have against me?

i have been debating on writing this for this entire past week. finally i decided to do it. of course im exhausted from working all week, today included. we went in at 4 am, so i really am tired, and hopefully this will make sense.



last sunday, our pastor, Pastor Kelly (PK for short) gave a sermon on jealousy as part of his Emo Whisperer series. it really affected me. not that i am really jealous or envious of someone in particular, but its what he said that got to me. so much that i was in tears after i went up front and prayed at the end of the sermon. what got to me so much you may wonder? i may be misquoting him, but the jist of what got to me was that it is okay to blame/accuse God of screwing you over. granted He may really not be to blame, but you think it right? so why not tell him. he already knows you think it, so hes not going to strike you down. heres my story:

not many, if any of you, really know me. but i was raised Mormon. (to make things clear. they are a Christian religon, but im not getting into that here now) many religons, including the LDS (Mormons) believe that God answers prayers, and that He will never try/ test you beyond what you can handle. however, they way they teach or taught it to me was a little different. see i was constantly bullied, harassed, picked on, and pretty much tortured growing up. i dont really know why, but i was a victim of much terror. i was a good kid, didnt cause any real trouble, and stayed out of it too, for the most part. so i did not deserve any of it in the least bit. and ironically, the kids at church were worse than kids at school usually. and even worse, i went to school with some of them. and alot of the leaders/ adults didnt really seem to care, same with the teachers at school too. i prayed and prayed and prayed for years for it to end, or let up. it never did. in fact it would GET WORSE every time i prayed. so naturally i lost my faith. i would be in tears every nite praying. ive since learned my mom was too. finally i took matters into my own hands. i attempted suicide. i tried to hange myself. its a kinda funny story that i will tell those who want to know, but im not here now. obviously it didnt work, and im still here. i blamed GOD for the longest time for things getting worse. i said he made them worse. i was told that he didnt make them worse, but my argument was, and still is, that MAYBE he didnt, but he let them get worse. and that really hurt(s).
i have always been as helpful as i could without hurting myself, although it seems i end up doing that. so has my wife. so naturally we get together and we end up doing nice things for and to people and organizations and get burned. we stuggle, LITERALLY to make ends meet. there have been too many times we didnt know where our meals would come from. espescially now with Carly, she cant go hungry, we could if we had to. we are not bad people, and even though we do need help (im not asking, but we will accept if someone really wants to, but thats not what this blog is about) we rarely ask for it b/c we do know there are those who honestly need it more than us.
so anyways, when PK started talking about envy and jealousy, and said that everything we own is actually God's, that HE allowed us to get it, that He gave us it, and that if He did not want us to have it, we wouldnt, it got to me. it got to me b/c i was a good person, and we are good people. why was i tormented to the point of wanting to die, why do my wife and i struggle sooo much? why all this when we are good people? we help someone and they steal from us? or an emergency happens that cripples us financially for a bit right after we help them? why do we have it so freakin hard when some just as generous as us have it easier? or even worse, those who are evil or just rotten people have it easy. they have everything they want for the most part. PK said it was okay to tell God that we think he cheated us, and I did. i still feel he has and does. but i feel better about it. he has a plan, and i dont know it yet, but if everything we have is his essentially, then he should know what he is doing. but years ago i was made to feel bad that i felt that God was cheating me. when PK said these things, i was literally brought to tears. b/c he said God knew what i was thinking, so i might as well say it to him. saying it made me feel better. yes, we are still having problems makin ends meet. yes we still need help, but since i know that if it gets to the point that i feel he is cheating me, i can say it if i need to, i am doing better. thank you PK. so the title of my blog is pretty much what i asked God. i havent gotten an answer why i have it harder, but i know i dont have to feel guilty for feeling cheated. again thank you PK

Ouch!

today i was a klutz again at work. i split my head open. its not bac, but it hurts real bad. four stitches. mostly got the stitches to minimize the scar, and to keep it closed to heal. but i can still work, so its all good.

new post... duh

well this has been some week. or last week was. for those who didnt read my wife's blog, i will fill you in, or if you do read it, i will still fill you in.

i work for Pepsi Bottling Ventures in the warehouse. i work on day shift which is the bulk team. bulk is the team that builds for all the grocery stores in the tri county area. or almost the whole tri county area. i used to be a supervisor, but stepped down. that being said,........

i stepped down because i was not getting properly backed up by upper management on the handling of discipline of disrespectful and unruly employees. i stepped down mostly b/c of one worthless employee. i didnt want to step down, but since i see my job as a career, and not just a job, i had to before i said or did something that would change my employment status. unfortunately me stepping down did not really change anything. he still disprespected anyone and everyone. he is actually so worthless as a employee, that its not even worth the breath calling him worthless.

well, he was on the verge of termination for a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG time b/c of his lack of attendance. but they were not enforcing it. finally they did, and he was due to get fired. it was brought to my attention that he had once or twice said that if he ever got fired, he was coming after me. now i never heard it, and the guy who told me can be an ass and joke like that. so ive been a little on edge. this guy is nuts, and even if my source was joking, it wouldnt surprise me. but he got fired today, and everything is ok for now. but whats cool, is we are really hurting right now. i know everyone is tight, but we seem to really be feeling it, and since they finally axed him i will probably get close to like 60 hours every week the rest of the year.